Private Eye Grams And The Suicide Letter
by harmonyarmenia
Summary: Beginning season four. After a study session at Jen's, Grams find a suicide letter. Can she find who wrote it in time to save them?
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note: This is my first Dawson's Creek fic. Please R&R tell me if you like the cliffhanger!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own DC in any way if I did, it would still be on the air. Love it. PJ!**

**Summary: Beginning-mid season four. After studying at Grams' house one night, the gang leave and Grams finds a suicide letter. Grams goes into full Miss Marple technique. Who does it belong to and can Grams find out in time?**

"Hey, are you guys still coming around to my place, tonight?" Jen Lindley asked as she approached her friends, Joey and Pacey.

"Sure, count us in." Joey replied, to which she received a slight dig in the ribs from Pacey.

"I'm sorry, Lindley," Pacey started. "Whta my beloved here meant to say is, 'Will Dawson be there?' Well?"

"Well, that depends on what you define as Dawson being there, pers'e."

"I take it that's a yes, Jen." Joey smiled, pulling away from Pacey's grip. "And yes, we will be there."

Jen left the pair, just as Pacey took Joey's hand and led her to a deserted classroom.

"Jo, I thought we said it was best to stay away from Dawson for the moment? Things aren't at their greatest right now and we've hardly spent any time together since we got back. You bailed on me last night to go to some art thing with Jack and now this."

"Pacey," Joey began, pulling him closer to her and biting him softley on his lower lip.

"Hey, don't do that, Potter. You know you always win an argument by flirting. Don't flirt, this is a serious conversation."

"Okay, Mr.Witter!" Joey giggled. "I think we should go. We have nothing to hide and we're not ashamed of anything. All we're doing is spending a night with our friends, studying. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all."

"Okay." Pacey surrendered, taking her hand and squeezing gently. "I will go with you, Miss Potter; but I have to say, if that man pisses me off, I will have to give him a wedgie."

"You asked them?" Dawson shouted at Jen, throwing his hands into the air in disbelief. "How could you do that! You are the only person who knows what I have gone through this summer. It has been so hard from me, Jen! I have been living my life on a knife, just trying to forget what happened last year. It is bad enough that I have to see them around school, but to socialise with them too is just asking far too much!"

"If they can put it behind them for one night, I'm pretty sure that you can, too. It won't be that hard, Dawson. It's only a study session. A couple of hours; I mean, it's not as if they'll be dry humping on the kitchen table." Jen said, taking Dawson's arm, leading him away from the front entrance to the canteen.

Jack, who had been standing at the side, smiled at Jen's words, but the smile was soon wiped off his face, imagining what Dawson would say if it happened.

"Fine!" Dawson said, swinging his book bag over his shoulder, heading awy from Jen and Jack.

"Fine!" Jen repeated, laughing. "Be there at seven thirty. I'll order pizza!"

Andie McPhee leaned back in her chair in her English class. Glancing out the corner of her eye, she could see Joey Potter, The Woman Who Stole Her Man. No, not really. Andie and Pacey had split up a long time ago and she knew that he would eventually find someone else. She had prepared herself for it; just not for it beign so soon or with anyone so close. Recently, Andie had spent a lot of time just thinking about things. Not about Joey and Pacey in particularly; mostly about school and her older brother, Tim. For some reason, now more than ever she wanted to see Tim. He always seemed to posess the ability to make her smile, no matter what. That was what she wanted right now, to smile. The tablets she was on didn't let her do much of that. She couldn't really feel any emotion at all. She wanted to be happy and she knew that on some level, she must be, because she had most everything she hoped for - Jack was living back home now and getting on well with their father, school was going good and it looked promising that she would hear from Harvard soon. Why shouldn't she be happy?

Somehow, she felt unable to answer that question as she was feelin as low as she ever had done.

"Oh, Jackie, please don't touch me! Your hands are so . . . big and manly!" Squeeled Dave Rowan, one of the jerks on the football team. Needless to say, some of his _followers_ applauded him by laughing along.

"Hey, shut your mouth, Rowan!" Jack's friend, Billy yelled back. "Hey, Jack, don't listen to them, man. They're creeps, they don't know you."

"I don't know why you defend me, Billy. Those guys were your friends too, 'till recent. You'll just end up getting the brunt of their abuse, too." Jack protested.

"Hey, my brother is gay and I don't like the way he was treated. He used to come home from school all the tiem with black eyes and once he even had a cracked rib. I used to stand by and watch, wishing I was old enough and strong enough to do something about it, but I couldn't. Do you know what happened to Aaron, Jack? One day, some guys on his football team bet him up and they just wouldn't stop. They actually left him for dead and he wasn't found till two days later. He died of internal bleeding to his brain. I'll be damned if I stand by and watch that happen to someone else, just because some guys are jerks."

Jack pulled on his sweater and hit Billy on the shoulder, gently. Billy nodded and Jack left the locker room.

Flinching, he pulled up the helm of his sweater to reveal bruises on his torso. He had gotten them the day before, but they were still raw and hurt like hell. It wasn't through beatings, like Billy had described, but it might as well have been; three guys had jumped him during yesterday's practise game. He told himself that it was just the disadvantages of football, but he knew fine well that the guys who did it clearly had problems with him being gay. Dave Rowan being one of the three.

Jack had tried so hard recently to tell himself that if he was honest with people, they would be recipritive towards him, It hadn't worked out like that, however. Most people in Capeside were like Billy and his friends: accepting him for who he was, but there were still a large majority of narrow-minded people who avoided him in the street or spread rumours about him at school and that was one thing that Jack couldn't take. He stopped dead in his tracks on his way over to meet Andy at the auditorium, Billy's words sinking into his brain.

_Billy's brother died _Jack thought to himself. _He actually died because people wouldnt' accept him. What if things get worse for me? What if I don't have the strength to fight them off and I end up like Aaron Coulson? _The thought scared Jack so much that he nearly fell to his knees when he came to the large oak tree that sat in the school grounds. He dropped his back to the grass and let his back slam against the bark as tears began strolling down his face and thoughts into his head. If things got worse, how would he survive it?

"Dawson, are you okay?" Gail Leery asked her son as he stormed in through the front door from school that afternoon.

"No, Mom, as a matter of fact, I'm not!"

"What's up, son?" His father, Mitch enquired, emerging from the kitchen with a bag of pretzels.

"You know how I told you that Jen, Jack, Andy and I were having a study session for our exams tonight?"

"Yeah, I remember." Said Gail, urging him to continue.

"Well, Jen took it upon herself to invite Joey and Pacey. I just don't get it, she knows what it's been like for me, how could she possibly ask me to sit in the same room as them for a few hours and make small-talk?"

"Well, Dawson, maybe Jen just wants the best of both worlds and who can blame her? She has a right to be friends with all of you and you have to accept that or you risk losing Jen, Jack and Andy, too. You have to start anew. Look at me and your mother. We couldn't be happier and it's all because we put the past behind us and moved on. Joey and Pacey are still your closest friends, no matter what you say or what happened. Maybe it's time to forgive and forget."

"Why can't you just let me have one teenage-angst related crisis without the morality? I don't want to hear what I should do, I just want to hear you sympathise. Is that too much?"

"Well, I'm sorry, honey," Gail began, taking the pretzels from Mitch. "We are your parents. We do the 'loving advise thing' not the 'sympathise and ignore thing'. Maybe you should go to the likes of Joey for that."

Dawson could hear his parents laugh at his dilemma as he made his way upstairs. Why couldn't they just understand? Why did they have to confuse his pain with over-exagerrated drama? Right enough, how could he expect his parents to understand him when no one else did?

He had just experienced the worst summer of his life and just as he thought the pain may be easing, the wound was slashed open again in the shape of Pacey and Joey's return. No one could comfort the loss and agony he was feeling; not even the movies, which surprised him, as he had once thought that no matter what his problem he would always find an answer and a solution in a film. Truth was, he hadn't even watched a single film since the night that he had first found out about Joey and Pacey's affair. They had ripped his heart out, destroyed his soul and stamped over the very essence that Dawson thought he was. He couldn't bring himself to watch a movie in the fear that it would leave him hurting all over again. Joey was the love of his life. There was no doubt about it. He loved Joey Potter, he needed Joey Potter and he hated Joey Potter. All at the same time he experienced those emotions; it seemed impossible to function from the pain he was feeling. desperately needed something to make it stop. He would have to find something to make it stop. If he couldn't have Joey then he felt the next best thing was that he would not have to relive the agony each day of seeing her with someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

Private Eye Grams and The Suicide Letter

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Dont own DC. Genius show but not mine ... unfortunately. (P/J 4eva!)

Summary: 2nd chapter. Okay brief synopsis of chap one. Jen has organised a study session. Andy really depressed. Dawson distraught over Pacey and Joey. Jack upset about being bullied. Chap two sets the scene a little more (mostly around Jen) Hope you like the cliffhanger. Bare with me, it'll brighten up soon.

Author Note: Sorry for the wait. Please r&r I love to hear your views!

"Jennifer, can you come in here a minute, please?" Grams shouted out as Jen came in from school that afternoon.

"Grams, I'm kinda busy. I have some things that I have to take care of, can't this wait?"

"Hello, Jen." Her mother stepped into the hall and tried her best to greet her daughter with a smile, but Jen could see that she had been crying.

Jen paused and looked at her mother in shock for a few seconds before finally finding the courage to speak.

"What're you doing here?" She asked, scolding her mother with her eyes.

"I ... your Father ..." Her words trailed off, hanging in the air. "Your Father," she started again, taking a deep breath. "Your Father was sleeping with his secretary in our bed."

Jen looked away, unsuprised. "And that brings you to Capeside, why?" She asked, rhetorically.

Her Grams drew her a look of dislike as Jen turned away from her mother and headed upstairs.

"I'll be around for a while, Jennifer; so you'll have to get used to it!" Her mother yelled after her.

Jen could hear raised voices and crying downstairs as she lay on her bed, her head buried deep in her pillow, full of thought. So, it had finally happened. Her spineless mother had actually decided to leave him after all. She scoffed at this and sat up, realising that somehow, her pillow was wet and there were tears streaming from her eyes.

Why was she so upset at this? Even she didn't know the answer as she picked up the telephone and dialled Joey's number.

"Hello?" Bodie answered, a slight chirp in his voice.

"Bodie, it's Jen." She told him, trying to hold back more tears. "Is Joey there?"

"Hi, Jen. I'll just get her for you."

Taking deep breaths and sipping the stale water on her nightstand from the night before, she tried to gather herself. The Jen that people knew wasn't like this. She had to act right. She could let anyone know that this was bothering her, because even she didn't know why it was.

"Hey, Jen." Joey's soft voice drifted down the line.

It took her a few seconds to realise that Joey had actually spoke to her.

"Hi, Jo. Listen, I'm going to have to cancel tonight. My mom kinda came into town unexpectedly. I'm sorry, but if you could call the others, that would be really great." Her voice trembled towards the end.

"Um ... sure, Jen." Joey answered. "Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?"

"No, Joey. I'll see you tomorrow." She hung the phone up abruptly and dialled another number. It was Yana Black's number; a girl she had met a while ago at a college party she had crashed. Jen just knew she would have what she was looking for right now. What Jen really needed was something to make her feel better and to stop these uncontrollable outbursts. She knew that Yana would have some X.

Two days passed by and no one had seen or heard from Jen and everyone was getting extremely worried as to where she might be. Grams had watned to inform the police, but Jen's mother had told her to leave it another day or so, as her daughter had often done this before. A row had ensued between Grams and Jen's mother, but Grams had decided to listen to her daughter in the end and leave Jen for a while.

So after three days, Jen Lindley stomped her way into Capeside High, stinking of drink and staggering her way through the corridors. 10.am and Jen was drunk. If this was New York, it would be no surprise; but this was Capeside and this was certainly and element of surprise.

"Jen?" Joey and Andie shrieked in unison as she walked directly into them in the corridor.

"Hey, Joey!" Jen yelled a little too loudly. "Andie!" She laughed. "Oh, I loooove you guys! Do you know that I love you? I know that I love you. I think everyone loves you! Well, Pacey certainly loved the both of you, didn't he?" She slumped against the lockers and started laughing again.

"Come on, Jen." Joey exclaimed, encouraging Andie to help lift her up off the floor.

"We'd better get you cleaned up a bit before you get kicked out." Andie said, helping Joey carry Jen to the nearest toilet.

Later that night, things were sorted and back to normal; whatever normal was in Capeside. Jen had sobered up and apologised to her Grams (and grudgingly to her Mother) for her behaviour, promising never to do anything of the sort again, although inside, she still felt as bad. Why couldn't she just stay drunk? Everything seemed better when she was drunk. Still, Jen knew she couldn't go on living her lfie like this. Somehtign had to give and Jen was going to make that happen. Despite her promises.

Everyone piled into Grams' house that night for the study session that Jen had promised them all three days ago. Joey was late. Not just late for the study group, but she feared she was pregnant. She had thought it for a while and the past few days had just made her even more concerned. She had lost her virginity to Pacey a few nights after returning to Capeside. It had been a magical night, now all had jsut goen wrong. What if she was pregnany? How would she break it to Pacey? Or Bessie? To be honest, though, none of those thoughts scared her half as much as the diea of breaking it to Dawson. How could she break his heart? She knew that he was going crazy seeign her with Pacey. She had hurt him enough by revealing her romance with Pacey last year and choosing him over Dawson, but to tell him something like this ... she couldn't quite believe it herself. She just couldn't. How could she be pregnant? Why did it have to be her; Joey Potter of all people? She hadn't taken a test, but Joey was pretty sure she knew her body better than some stupid test. She was going to have Pacey's baby.

Three hours later, they had all agreed it was tiem for a break. On the outside, it seemed obvious that they had all worked the asses off so far. Inside, though, each and every one of them was battling demons bigger than exams. They all had their own problems and they all knew how to deal with them. There was only one way.

It was a little after midnight when Jen and her mother had drifted off to bed, but Grams found herself unable to sleep or to rest; so she climbed up out of the armchair she had been sitting in uncomfortably for a while now and headed off to the kitchen to clean up. Picking up some empty soda cans and packets of crisps, she put them in the bin and started on the rest of the table. It was littered with paper, as was the floor. Ten minutes later, it had nearly all been tidied away, except for a few pieces of scrpa paper lying on the floor. Picking them up, one piece of paper in particular caught her eye. It was a letter written in very bold and dark handwriting. _Very cryptic_ she thought as she read it, suspiciously:

_To you,_

_What will happen can't be stopped. There are lies that I told you. Important lies; those untruths can never be taken back. To the end of my lfie, they will haunt me more than you. You can move on with your future - you have possibilities and freedom in your soul. I have disgrace. I have lost everything: my respect, my dignity and now... I will lose my life. Soon, I will die. I can't see a life at all. Consider this my apology and my goodbye. _

_I am sorry. Believe me with all your heart. _

_xxx_

Grams gasped in horror as she finished the last sentence. Someone was going to kill themselves; they were actually goign to taken away the life that God had given them. She had to find out who it was and she had to do it fast.


End file.
